Remember with me
The life that I’ve lived
The ups and downs
The highs and lows
The numbness in between the light
The storm
Surely
I will miss
That heartbreaking life
Surely
I must want
That heartbreaking living
Surely
I can’t
Let go of that
heartbroken
heart
The ability to act
When filled with fear
Shows the heart
courageous
But
My fear holds me back
From doing what I want
It’s the pain, the ache, the unknown
Why am I so scared
When it’s all I dream of
Why am I a coward
When I want the courage
So desperately
So desolately
Please, courageous heart
Don’t fail me
The aching familiarity
The breathtaking knowing
Of what’s it like
To live
To die
To keep on going
Sometimes I think of
Sweet, painless, blissful
End
Sometimes it’s
Drip drip
Dripping down my forearms
Sometimes
It’s stumbling and not getting up
Sometimes
It’s
All I ever want
But
I’m scared
Sometimes
It’s too much
Oh to be
will-o’-the-wisp
Not confined to a particular shape
Able to float and drift as I please
To dance through the skies and do as I want
To finally disperse
No harder a thing to do than to sing
Oh to be unmade
In a way
That’s
So quick
So easy
So painless
So finite
Oh to be
will-o’-the-wisp
In a life filled with counting
In remembering the when’s and how much’s
Adding one more seemed so insignificant
I remember when one became two
And two, three
I do not know when three became many
Or when many overtook my life
If there was a state between life and death
Where living was a choice and dying constant
I’d willing succumb to that eternal numbness of not being
Once thought of as the captain
Now regarded as the cargo
When I look towards where I’m sailing
All I can do is whisper Stop
But still
I go careening into the ice
The liquid I cry is far from flammable
Yet it trudges like oil and burns with passion
I am stuck in a pool
Filled with water
It covers me head to toe;
weighs on me like a blanket.
I try to get up
It pushes me down
I try to get up
And sink farther down
Poetry Woe is Me 