My fate

If not from my own hand

Then whose

If not from my own hand

Then

Why did they not hold out that hand

And help

And if from my own

Why did I not take it

To my own neck

Wrap it around

And squeeze

Maybe it’s because I wasn’t the first

Maybe it’s because I wasn’t committed enough

Maybe it’s because in the grand scheme of things it didn’t seem so serious

Just one night

Doesn’t seem so bad

Just one night

Doesn’t change someone’s life

If there was a permanent reminded

Some open wounds, some scars, some physical after effects

It wouldn’t be treated as normal

But no

We went home

And life went on as always

The only difference being

That I slept

And I slept

And I slept

Can I ask you a question?

Are you afraid of the ways

The world will move on

Without you?

No

Not I

I long for the days in which

The world remains

Unchanged

When I finally die

Days seem endless

Nights never long enough

Mistakes climb higher

And topple me to the ground

Why did I do this?

Regret was never so instant

Blink, blink, blink and I’ll miss it

It will be gone

But no, no

Its still here

Blink, blink, blink and I’ll wake up

And return to reality

But no, no

I cannot hide from this

You see me

You see me

And I,

I see you

Hold me tight please

Let me go I need

Up

Up don’t

Wrap me up please

Leave me alone I need

Free

Free don’t

Leave me

Please

Peel back

Show me

Beauty

In

Pain

Peel back

Ruby red

Red shines

Beautiful

Beautiful

Drip

Eternal bliss awaits

Those who let fate run its course

Is eternal bliss for me?

All I want is the nothingness after death

How unfortunate is it, then

That fate has wrapped itself around me

So that after death

All I get

Is eternal bliss

Let’s imagine

Two things

First

A life worth living

Second

A life godforsaken

How is it

That both can be true at once?

Remember with me

The life that I’ve lived

The ups and downs

The highs and lows

The numbness in between the light

The storm

Surely

I will miss

That heartbreaking life

Surely

I must want

That heartbreaking living

Surely

I can’t

Let go of that

heartbroken

heart